watajoke

smile......

2009-11-21T18:17:00.001+13:00

Good Friends

2009-11-19T18:14:00.002+13:00

A Good Friend is someone who thinks your a good egg, even though he knows your a little cracked.

A good friend is hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

More Blonde Jokes

2009-10-18T01:06:00.001+13:00

the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"And then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"And then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".

Thanks to Vinny for these!

Blonde Jokes

2009-10-18T00:12:00.001+13:00

Normally I am not a fan of these, but I found these funny. (It could be attributed to the lateness of the hour too)

blonde getting a haircut
A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.
the stylist replied "no" so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied "ok".
after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, "breath in, breath out"

painting blonde
One day, a blonde wife, roughly 25, wanted to prove to her husband that not all blondes were dumb. So she decided she was going to paint the house while he was at work. When her husband got home,he noticed that she was digging through the closet,looking for something.
When he asked her what she was doing, she said,"the paint can said,for best results,to use two coats."

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"

"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?"

The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"

amusing quotes....

2009-10-07T18:10:00.002+13:00

Smile and Wave, Boys, Smile and Wave. -Madagascar

Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you! -Annie, Getcha Gun

There are two rules for success.....1) Never tell everything you know... -Roger H. Lincoln

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me. -A A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Do what's Right. Do it Right. Do it right now. -Barry Forbes

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. -Carl Zwanzig

There arer many ways to enlightenment. Sadly, none of them include pizza. -RonRon Shubadi

Get you own quote dammit! This one's MINE! -Anonymous

Life is as easy as 3.141592653589. -Anonymous

Sometimes I go off into my own little world...But that's okay; they know me there. -AJ

If everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane. -Anonymous

I was born wild...this terrible compulsion to act normally is a result of childhood trauma. -Anonymous

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their ground. -Anonymous

I am Nobody, Nobody is perfect..Therefore I must be perfect! -Anon

Hummm

2009-09-06T14:28:00.003+12:00

Goodness, neither of us have posted on here in ages!

And now I don't know what to put.
I'm really just wasting time. While I wait. I could read, but...

Dad's just said that Simon's Brother is on T.V. playing rugby.
With head gear. Hopefully it isn't pink.

I was looking up music, but our computer wont let me look at any off it.
I have a flute sitting on the desk in front of me.

This really isn't going anywhere. I'd suggest you stop reading it.

Now.

Unless, of course, you are like me and are waiting, waiting.

Waiting, watching the world go by. Well

Dad's channel surfing and I just heard "Ada, what is it?" From Bleak House.
Unfortunately he didn't watch it. =(

If you are still reading this because you are bored, know that someone else feels your annoyance.

I wonder what I have done with my hat. I wonder. I hope I didn't leave it somewhere it shouldn't be.

I am well and truly bored.
I just made this. It pretty much sums it up. If your bored, take it and post it.

http://dancingpet.superpokepets.com/

If you go there, you can see my Super Poke Pet. It's a rabbit wearing an ugly wig. Maybe I'll take it off her. Eventually.

Oh, it is a Joke or two.

2009-08-11T21:23:00.002+12:00

Locked Out

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found.

John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.

With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one handy."

Pull Over

"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied,
and she was fined seventy-five dollars for not wearing a seatbelt.

She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined
her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck
and she marked the check stub, "One pullover: $75."

Photogenic?

When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local Motor Vehicle Bureau was packed.

The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."

The clerk looked at his picture closely, and reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

Optimist

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their
looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold.
If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed
to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist,
the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday, their father
loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The
optimist's room, he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him
sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read the all these
instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly
need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the
pessimistic twin.

Passing the optimistic twin's room, the father found him dancing for
joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimistic twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in
here somewhere!"

Things you did not know!

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about 10.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear any pants.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Leonardo da Vinci invented the scissors.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Starfish haven't got brains.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The name Wendy was made up for the book 'Peter Pan'.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

And finally...
You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Jokes

2009-07-20T18:34:00.002+12:00

Children

It's true that children brighten up a home.
They never turn off the lights.

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black..."

What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know.

My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.

This butler came running into the master's room. He said, 'Sir there's a ghost outside in the corridor. What shall I do?'The master said, 'Tell him I can't see him.

My sister went to first aid lessons. They said, 'What's the first thing you'd do if a man was blown up by dynamite?'
My sister said, 'Wait for him to come down.'

The doctor said, 'Is your cough better now?'
My brother said, 'Oh yes much better. I've been practising for weeks.'

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So that they can hide in cherry trees.
Don't be silly - elephants don't hide in cherry trees!
Have you ever seen one in a cherry tree?
No...
Proves how good the disguise is, doesn't it.

Pupil to Teacher: Sir, would you punish a person for something they haven't done?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: Good, then you won't mind that I haven't done my homework!

My brother came running in He said, 'Mum, there's a man outside with a broken arm called Brian.'
My mum said, 'That's a funny name for a broken arm.'

My uncle said to me, 'Ants have got amazing brains.'
I said, 'Have they?'
He said, 'Yes. Have you noticed how they always know when you're having a picnic.'

My dad said to me, 'Son, today I fought off the powers of darkness.'
I said, 'How did you do that?'
He said, 'I paid the electricity bill.'

My sister got me into trouble the other day.
She said, Mum, he's broken my dolly.'
My mum said, 'How did that happen?'
My sister said, 'Well I was hitting him on the head with it, and it broke.'

The first thing a child learns when he gets a drum is that he'll never get another one.

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it.
Pupil: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.

Q: What do you get if you cross a bird with a magician?
A: A flying sorcerer.

Primary maths pupil's answer to question, `take 9 from 246 as many times as possible': `I did it fifty times and I always got 237.'

Twelve year old's response to the question, `why does a surgeon wear a mask when he performs an operation?': `So if he makes a muck of it the patient won't know who did it.'

A seven year old going to his first carol service demanded indignantly when the collection plate came round, 'You mean we have to pay for this?'

Definitions

Consciousness - the time between naps.

Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.

Justice - a decision in your favor.

Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

Shopping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
he stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

One day a boy asks "where's your bathroom?" "Right in the left back corner of the store", the manager said. So he walks into the bathroom and noticed there was no toilet just a bath. So he comes out and says "what gives there is no toilet in the bathroom". "Duh", said the manager "you didn't ask for a toilet room you asked for a bathroom"!

Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please?
Clerk: No, ma'am. You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

This woman and her husband came out of the supermarket. She said, 'I'll put the shopping in the car and you get the baby.' The husband said, 'Alright.' And off he went. A few minutes later he was back at the car.
The woman said, 'Hey, that's not our baby.' The man said, 'Shut up, it's a better pram.'

Light Bulbs

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.

How many civil servants does it take to change a light-bulb?
Ten. One to mess it up and nine to write the cover-up report.

How many politically correct people does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Why should we impose our values on the light bulb? If it wishes to be a light bulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."

How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
(It's a very simple task, so...) None. "It's a man's job."

How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five, and you should've seen the light bulb! It must have been this big! (Gestures with arms...) Five of us were barely enough!

How many Dixons store assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Err. Nahh, it's MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc...)

How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't know yet. They're still waiting on a part.

How many Labour Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They haven't got a policy on that.

How many presidential campaign staff does it need to change a light bulb? 220! One to write a speech about how good it will be when the bulb is actually changed, one to write a speech about why the other candidates can't even spell "light bulbe", eighteen to find out what the other candidates did when the light bulb failed, and another two hundred to find out what the other candidate's families think about light bulbs, bulbs, pear-shaped objects, light in general, any form of energy.

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

How many armies does it take to change a light bulb?
At least five. The Germans to start it, the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while, the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then try again from the other side, the Americans to turn up late and finish it off and take all the credit, and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

How many PUNK ROCKERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to kick the chair out from
under him.

How many HAIRDRESSERS does it take to change a light-bulb?Five. One to change the bulb and four to stand around admiringly and say "Fabulous, Gary !!"

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Fruit Thieves

2009-07-07T13:57:00.000+12:00

A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.

After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.

"Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry," they said.

The farmer replied, "Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me."

The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!

After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.

As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, "What's so funny?"

The thief replied, "The other guy is out there picking watermelons!"

My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so I bought her a rickshaw.

2009-07-07T13:37:00.001+12:00

Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'

My wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting that the night before, she had backed it in.

A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Suddenly she saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies' toilet. Five minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her. With a sweet smile she said, 'I bet you thought I'd never make it in time.'

Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."

A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence.
'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'
'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.'
'Lady, I don't care who you know, your still going to get a ticket.'

Car Drivers

2009-07-07T13:27:00.000+12:00

Overheard to a chauffeur: 'James, I'm now ninety and rather bored with life, so I want to commit suicide. Kindly drive over the next cliff.'

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.
"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."
"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.
"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"
The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.
"What happened to her?" the officer asks.
"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

After a car crash one of the drivers is lying injured at the side of the road. 'Don't worry,' said a policeman, a Red Cross nurse is coming to attend to you.'
Oh no,' groaned the victim, 'couldn't I have a blonde, cheerful one?'

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park your car in it man.
A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.
The police officer pointed somberly towards the sky.
"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him. The guy on the scooter leans over and takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car. Well, the light turned green so the driver of the Porsche decides to show off and peels out and leaves the guy on the scooter in the dust. Then, all of a sudden, he sees the scooter zip on past him. So, being a little cocky, the Porsche driver floors it again and blows past the guy on the scooter. A few seconds later, he again sees the scooter zip on past him. So now he's a little irate as well as a little mifted that that scooter keeps passing him so he floors it until he is going over 100 mph. He thinks to himself that there would be no way that scooter could catch him now, but then looks in the rearview mirror and sees that scooter starting to catch up. He then decides to find out what that scooter really is and slams on his brakes. Then the scooter crashes into the Porsche. After the dust settled, the Porsche driver sees the scooter driver lying in the road and goes over to him and askes how he could go as fast as the Porsche on a little wimpy scooter... The dying man replied, "I can't really, but my suspenders were caught on your side mirror...."

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, "What will you take: 30 days or $30?" The man thought and replied, "I think I'll take the money."

A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman. 'So what?' said the motorist. 'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer. 'I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the ,back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'

Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'

A dilapidated and very ancient Ford pulled into the local garage. 'Could you let me have half a gallon of petrol?' asked the old fellow at the wheel.
'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.
'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'

I once drove to the South of France in six days. It took me four days to get there and two days to fold up the road maps.

A man in a Jaguar passed a mini that had broken down by the side of the road. Being a kindly driver, he stopped and fixed a tow-rope to it and began towing it to the nearest garage.
After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche passed them at high speed. The Jaguar driver was not going to be outdone by a Porsche, so, forgetting that he had a mini in tow, slammed his foot down and the Jaguar and Porsche indulged in a high-speed race down the road, the Skoda and it's occupant trailing wildly about at the end of the rope frantically trying to attract their attention and failing.
A Police car saw them and gave chase. The Police driver radioed back to Headquarters "Sarge, you'll never believe this, I've just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph - and a bloke in a mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!"

Answering Machines

2009-07-07T12:56:00.003+12:00

"This is an answering' machine, this machine is designed to take full advantage of its numerous capabilities. Please say what you wanted to talk about and why did ya call me anyhow? Wait for the tone to sound, and leave yer message after the beep."

(in the voice of John McEnroe the tennis player)You dummy! You've called while I'm OUT! Five minutes You've missed me by AT LEAST five minutes. Are you stupid or what? Can't you get anything right? You people make me sick! Leave a message and I'll call you back! BEEP.

"This is Sherwood forest, which dear do you want?"

(To the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel")
I just left home baby
I'll be out fer a spell
and if you don't leave a message baby
you can go to

One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine.
Another voice: Nobody expects an answering machine. Our chief use is to get your name. And phone number.
Our two chief uses are to get your name and phone number. And message. (damn)
Our three uses are to get your name, phone number, and message. And the time you called.
Oh, damn, we'll have to start over. No--no time for that, so just wait for the beep.

Ring...click....(sound of loud music in background)...Hello? - just a second while I turn the stereo off (sound of person running to click off music, which gets quiet. Sound of person running back to phone) OK, sorry about that, hi there, who's this...well hi!... uh huh...yeah...well listen you're talking to a machine, so please leave a message and I'll call you back.

Hi this is . I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and then wait by the phone until I call you back.

"Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does......"

"This is (your phone number). We are not ... excuse me a moment, please. Put your sister down. PUT YOUR SISTER DOWN! (sound of glass breaking) Great! What a mess. I'll have to get back to you later."

"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?"

"SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."

Dave is out. Jane is out. Rover is out. This is their answering machine. I am in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of the beep leave your message.

How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!

So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.

"Yesterday I got home and I saw the phone machine blinking. I was so happy! I thought 'A message for me! Hooray!' "But when I listened to the tape, there was only a dial tone. "And now I'm never going to answer the telephone again."

"Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."

"Hi, this is John ... I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy sorting M & M's. So leave your name and number, and when I can get back to you, and as soon as I get them in alphabetical order, I'll call you up."

Greetings from the school of Computer Generated Music, in a moment we will play one of our shorter selections, after which you may leave a message.

"Hello, I am actually home at the moment, but I really don't feel like listening to whatever your problem is. So, If you leave your name and number at the tone, when I feel like responding to your message, I will."

"Terribly sorry, but you've reached an answering machine."

"Hello? Hello? I can't hear you. I guess that's 'cos I'm not at home right now. But if you'll leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you..."

Hi, this is Fred. I just stepped outside to get the paper, and the door locked behind me. Luckily, I left the answering machine on. So, while I'm outside, shivering in my underwear, you can leave a message. Then, when the landlord lets me back in, I can get back to you.

"This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway." because I'm sick of people ringing the phone at 1am just so they can hear the clever messages I usually have, and then hanging up without even leaving a "like your message" message.

This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is supercilious

The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.

"Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! (your name here) can't come to the phone right now, because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera..."

"Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?"

Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.

"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.

It's time to play "What's Your Business" starring you, the caller. That's right, you get to leave your name and number on this amazing machine! But that's not all, if you leave a brief message and the time that you called, you could win our fabulous Grand Prize, a RETURN CALL! Good luck, and here's the beep.

Hi, this is Dave. I'm out right now. This means I'm either asleep or not here. I'll get back to you when I return or regain consiousness, whichever comes first.

You dummy! You've called while I'm OUT! Five minutes You've missed me by AT LEAST five minutes. Are you stupid or what? Can't you get anything right? You people make me sick! Leave a message and I'll call you back! BEEP.

"And this is the sound the aliens made..." (BEEP!)

"Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done .... {Cachunk!}"

"Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm *so* depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, yet all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep."

"At the sound of the tone, you will be charged $10 for the first minute and $2 for each additional minute. Please leave your name, phone number and a message. You may call as often as you wish."

That's right! This is an answering machine! In a few seconds, YOU'RE gonna have to leave a message! Then we'll listen to it and decide whether or not we like you anymore! So make it GOOD...

click) "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation, however our staff of professional extortionists will be contacting you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you." (BEEEEEEEEEEEP)

Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $9.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone...

This is you-know who.
We are you-know-where.
Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

"Bridge, Kirk here."

"This is the City Morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em; You stab 'em, we slab 'em!"

The number you have reached, Seven. Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. has not been disconnected and is still in service. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.

Hi, can I speak to Mark?...Oh, there isn't?...I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.

Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.

Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father John's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail!

No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

I can't come to the phone now, so... hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you...

I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

The machine answering your call is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to a small kitten. If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and will fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS.... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Hello, this is . I'm home right now, and in a few moments, I'll have a decision to make. BEEEP!

"Hello, I'm not here."

"You know what to do at the tone."

"Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please multiply your number by i and try again.

I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am...

(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did you say you live?

If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our guns right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

Bob here. I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

Hi. I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP

This is Judy Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

"Hi. Now you say something."

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

Taylor Swift Rapping.

2009-06-27T14:59:00.001+12:00

Quotes

2009-06-26T22:44:00.002+12:00

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.

I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Car Rules

2009-06-26T22:40:00.000+12:00

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

11. Eat food that requires silverware.

12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

13. Sing without having the radio on.

14. Honk frequently without motivation.

15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.

16. Ask people for Grey Pompom.

17. Let pedestrians know who’s boss.

18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.

19. Restart your car at every stop light.

20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.

22. Paint your car with occult symbols.

23. Keep at least five cats in the car.

24. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for fire trucks.

25. Stop and collect road kill.

26. Stop and pray to road kill.

27. Throw Spam.

28. Get in the fast lane and gradually…slow…down… to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.

Wish

2009-06-26T22:35:00.000+12:00

One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heard from her mother that if she does a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Angel" would come to her in her dreams & give her 3 boons. So she decided to do it. She completed 4 years successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Angel" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask. And, really an "Angel" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Angel: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Angel: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes.

Angel: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn’t know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time …): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It’s OK.

Angel: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world. Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It’s OK.

Angel: Be as you wish.

Angel: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Angel, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Angel: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Angel: Be as you wish.

Think friends, what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world’s most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!

Now, girls please stop reading … boys scroll down…

******

******

******

******

******

******

******

******

Dear boys, don't worry, actually what happened is something different than what you all think! Actually, the girl’s boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world’s richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story: Dear boys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be. So don't worry if you think that you have girl-friend, intelligent than you.

Hey….I told u girls not to read…

Just for fun with truth…

=D

2009-06-26T22:31:00.001+12:00

Atom Bomb: An invention made to end all inventions.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Classic: A book which people praises, but do not read.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Excuses

2009-06-26T22:25:00.002+12:00

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL WRITTEN EXCUSES GIVEN TO TEACHERS IN THE ALBUQUERQUE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM BY PARENTS OF STUDENTS:

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take physical ed. Please execute him

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face

Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side

Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot

Words

2009-06-26T22:20:00.001+12:00

Beauty Parlor:
A place where women curl up and dye

Cannibal:
Someone who is fed up with people

Dust:
Mud with the juice squeezed out

Egotist:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

Gossip:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

Handkerchief:
Cold storage

Inflation:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper

Raisin:
Grape with a sunburn

Tomorrow:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today

Mosquito:
An insect that makes you like flies better

Yawn:
An honest opinion openly expressed

Secret:
Something you tell to one person at a time

Three words

2009-06-26T22:17:00.001+12:00

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled. The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out," Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness-everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Quiz

2009-06-26T22:14:00.001+12:00

Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. You can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil or paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever you really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!

FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much
time as you took for the first question.

SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
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ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

THIRD QUESTION: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.

What is the total?
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ANSWER: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

LAST QUESTION: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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ANSWER: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NO NO! Of course not. The fifth daughter's name is Mary.

Translation

2009-06-26T22:09:00.001+12:00

Professor	Translation
You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.	I used it as a grad student.
If you follow these few simple rules, you'll do fine in the course.	If you don't need any sleep, you'll do fine in the course.
The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.	I don't understand the details either.
Various authorities agree that...	My hunch is that...
The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.	I don't know.
You'll have to see me during my office hours for a thorough answer to your question.	I don't know.
In order to answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view.	I really don't know.
Today we are going to discuss a most important topic.	Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.
Unfortunately, we haven't the time to consider all of the people who made contributions to this field.	I disagree with what roughly half of the people in this field have said.
We can continue this discussion outside of class.	1. I'm tired of this - let's quit. 2. You're winning the argument - let's quit.
Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.	I stayed out to late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.
Any questions?	I'm ready to let you go.
The implications of this study are clear.	I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about it on the test.
The test will be 50-questions multiple choice.	The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1000 words or more) and no one will score above 55%.
The test scores were generally good.	Some of you managed a C+.
The test scores were a little below my expectations.	Where was the party last night?
Some of you could have done better.	Everyone flunked.
Before we begin the lecture for today, are there any questions about previous material?	Has anyone opened the book yet?
According to my sources...	According to the guy who taught this class last year...
It's been very rewarding to teach this class.	I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.

Tech Support

2009-06-03T20:40:00.001+12:00

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one.

---

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good. I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet! It's still on my desk. Sorry.

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Tech support: Click on the My Computer icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on Start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!

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Tech support: How may I be of assistance?

Customer: Hi, good afternoon. This is Martha and I can't print. Every time I try, it says "Can't Find Printer." I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

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Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah! Thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah, that one does work.

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter "V" as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry. Internet Explorer.

---

Tech support: Good morning. How may I help you?

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

---

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: Okay and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter "a" in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

---

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech Support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.

---

Tech support: Okay, Bob, let's press the Control and Escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a "P."
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P," on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'm not going to do that!

Lipstick in School -- Priceless!!

2009-06-03T20:33:00.001+12:00

Ya gotta love this principal.

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick,they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.... and then there are educators.

I've just shot them...

2009-06-03T20:22:00.002+12:00

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!

Helpline

2009-06-03T20:13:00.000+12:00

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared"
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when its on ? ?
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your
computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"

Final Exams

2009-06-03T20:09:00.000+12:00

At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page. On the second page was written....
For 95 points: Which tire? _________

Roller Blades

2009-06-03T19:57:00.000+12:00

2009-05-31T19:42:00.003+12:00

Boo!
chains rattle
voices whisper
agonised wails
release!
cries & moans
shadows moving
lights flickering
GHoSt
..........................
no smiling
no laughing
no happy
moments
pity those
lost and searching
hidden in the dark
(released in the light)

(NB don't just pity them-aid the release-hand them the keys for release)

:)

2009-05-26T20:35:00.000+12:00

These are amazing.

2009-05-23T22:38:00.000+12:00

Submitted by Brenda Adams Crowley, LA

Architect and engineers compete to see whose team can build the most spectacular structure using little more than cans of food at Canstruction, the 13th annual NYC Design and Build competition in New York .

All these cans will go to the food bank afterwards.

Scroll down and enjoy.

Stop or What?

2009-05-23T22:25:00.000+12:00

Bad Spelling

This is funny!

2009-05-23T22:22:00.000+12:00

Bill owns a company that manufactures and installs car wash systems. Bill's company installed a car wash system in Frederick, Md. Now, understand that these are complete systems, including the money changer and money taking machines.

The problem started when the new owner complained to Bill that he was losing significant amounts of money from his coin machines each week.

He went as far as to accuse Bill's employees of having a key to the boxes and ripping him off. Bill just couldn't believe that his people would do that, so they setup a camera to catch the thief in action. Well, they did catch him on film!

That's a bird sitting on the change slot of the machine.

The bird had to go down into the machine, and back up inside to get to the money!

That's three quarters he has in his beak! Another amazing thing is that it was not just one bird -- there were several working together. Once they identified the thieves, they found over $4000 in quarters on the roof of the car wash and more under a nearby tree.

And you thought you heard of everything by now!! !!

And to think the phrase "bird brain" is associated with being dumb. Not these birds. Share the story, and remember to keep smiling !!

This is...

2009-05-22T21:43:00.000+12:00

Well yeah.

Absobollylutely Beau-ti-ful! (pictures of past sunsets)

2009-05-18T18:47:00.004+12:00

This is when I start shouting and screaming and laughing........just so y'all know- I Love Hokitika!

Now I just need to go to the beach...dying to walk on the sand and feel the rain (it is the coast after all) and hear the waves..

Enjoy.

My list of Villains, Weirdos, Witches, Baddies, wholly evil things, Lunatics, Deluded personal... from literature.

2009-05-11T19:40:00.006+12:00

Yes, this has been a while in coming. And that has to have been one of the longest titles I've ever done.

1. The White Witch. She's scared me ever since I first read The Magicians Nephew. -Narnia

2. Hook. As a little girl, I hated him simply because Peter does. Now I am not a fan of Peter, but of Hook. (This probably has something to do with the fact that last time I read the book, I tried it from Hooks veiw.) - Peter Pan

3. Gollum. He is probably the person I feel the sorriest for in The Lord of the Rings. He wasn't bad, the ring made him so. He didn't ask for the ring to come to him, but it does. It drove him mad and in the end, killed him. - The Lord of the Rings

4 . Bertha Rochester, nee Mason. She roams the halls of Thornfield at night, setting fire to peoples beds and ripping wedding vales, all the while her mad laughter echoes through the halls. - Jane Eyre

5. Daniel Quilp. He's small, hideous and has everyone under his thumb. He makes faces, which threw ladies into fits. He does what ever he wants, no matter what else anyone wants. - The Old Curiosity Shop.

6. Miss Minchin. Is one of those diabolical people who pretend they like others if they are rich. When her richest pupil, (she runs a boarding school) Sara Crew, becomes penniless. She immediatly changes her colours and makes Sara a servant. Although she still loses her contanence whenever Sara enters the room. - The Little Princess.

7. The Ash. Yup a tree. He buries people at the bottom of his tree trying to fill up the hole in his heart. When you look in his eyes you are rendered helpless by his gaze. - Phantastes.

8. Count Olaf. Is possibly the funniest ever. His plans for getting the Bauldilaire fortune are incredible, however awful they are.

9. Dr Jekyll. Why anyone would like to create a potion which let them be wholly bad is beyond me. Warning, never read this book late at night if you are anything like me. - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

10. Nazgul. These are really creepy in the book, even more so than the movie. If you don't think so, read the books again. If you've never read them, do so now. - The Lord of the Rings.

That's done. I never realised how many books I read where all the people are good!

Time for Star Wars

2009-05-03T20:54:00.003+12:00

Sorry it's so small. When I enlarged it, it went fuzzy and you couldn't see it at all.

The Caption is, UNEMPLOYMENT sucks when your job gets blow'd up.

It links to the Darth Vader one...

A tiny bit more...

2009-04-28T20:21:00.001+12:00

Click here for a fun star wars game and i am still on Ella's laptop

Now we..

2009-04-28T20:16:00.004+12:00

Now we move onto Nincompoops by Cedric

Hi who ever is reeding this you are a NINCOMPOOP oh and i am still on Ella's laptop

Cedric's Post

2009-04-28T19:47:00.012+12:00

Hi i am on Ella's Laptop HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

wata joke Oh and Pigs can fly and cats bark not meow and dogs meow not bark am i clear good
Click here to see my pet
Click Here to see the new star wars lego set
Click Here to see my website
Click Here to see lord of the rings stuff
If you have reed this you are a nincompoop

Children Jokes... I think that most of them actually happend.

2009-04-10T20:51:00.003+12:00

"Real teachers keep a straight face when a parent tells them their child did not
complete the homework because their computer does not have Roman numerals on it."

After a recent trip to Washington, D.C., I was showing my kindergarteners pictures of the different monuments and buildings. I held up a picture and said, "This is the Capitol building." A little boy, Jeremy, asked, "Where is the Lower Case building?"

My husband and I got a very nice job offer to take over a ranch for a couple who were wanting to retire. The problem was that we live in North Dakota and the ranch is in Wisconsin. I was discussing it with my 6 and 8 year old daughters and asked what their feelings were on the issue. My six year old piped up and said, "Mom, we can't do that! Think how long it would take us to get to school!"

A mother was teaching her 3 year old daughter the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end "Lead us not into temptation" she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen."

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here? The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there? Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, Do you think I'll hear Barney in there? Oh, no! the little girl replied. Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants.

I was showing a video regarding the Revolutionary War to my "slower" class of seventh graders. Before turning on the video, I told them that the video would show actors portraying different historical people such as John Adams or Thomas Jefferson. I even told them that there would be a sign which would come up during the film which would remind everybody that these actors were saying the actual words of the historical characters that they were portraying. (I could see, however, that a few of the boys were not paying attention to what I was saying.) I turned on the video, waited for and pointed out the sign I had mentioned, and then watched the students as they watched the video. An actor portraying George Washington appeared. "Hey," I heard one boy say as he nudged his nearby friend, "is that George Washington?" His friend regarded him with utter contempt. "Stupid!" he whispered back, "This video's in color. They didn't have color videotape back then. If it was George Washington, it would be in black and white!"

I was a middle school teacher before retirement. One day I had students at the board working problems. One of the young ladies was an exceptional student who happened to be a blonde. For some reason I told her that she was using a piece of left handed chalk. Without turning around or saying anything she put the chalk in the tray, picked up another piece of chalk, and continued with her problem.

At Math time, I told the kids that we were going to talk about Even and Odd. One boy yelled out- "I know that story. It's in the Bible! " After I quit laughing, I said- "I think you mean Adam and Eve. "

As an introduction to a new book, I was introducing my 6th graders to new vocabulary words. I read a list of new words that the students would add to their list, and after I said, "Number 6. Rhododendron" one boy started asking his table mates where "Dendron" was. The kids could not understand what he was asking so he asked me "where the road to Dendron was". After collecting myself, I told him that rhododendron was one word. I still think that he is looking for Dendron.

I was a teacher in a tutoring center and at the end of every session, we would ask the students quiz questions for extra tokens. I asked, "What are the three primary colors?". One of my students said, " I know- black, white, and Mexican!!" I laughed so hard, I gave him 2 tokens.

I was wearing a long, colorful skirt made out of that broomstick material when I was trying to explain the word "brag" to my First Graders. I was pretending to brag about being the fastest runner in the whole class. I was going on and on when a little boy raised his hand and said, "You can't run fast wearing that CURTAIN!"

When we were discussing who spoke English and who spoke Spanish Kristopher piped up and said he just talks regular.

I teach preschool, 2 year olds. When I was Pregnant with my 3rd child, I saw no reason to tell my class because they were so young. As the year was coming to an end, I grew quite large. One of my little darlings came up to me and said," Miss Ilene, your belly is getting very fat!" I asked this little boy if he'd like to know why, and he said yes. I told him I had a baby in my tummy. He walked away, saying nothing. The next day, this happy, never cry child pitched a fit when his mother tried to leave. She pulled him aside and they talked for a few minutes, and the little boy calmed down, and the mom was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what happened and she said, "Adam thought you might eat him, you've already eaten a baby."

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

My friend Rhonda was telling me how rushed she was that morning getting her three children off to school. One of them had a field trip, but Rhonda couldn't find the permission slip anywhere. She finally wrote a note to the teacher explaining she had lost the form but it was okay for her child to go on the trip. Later Rhonda got a call from the teacher saying the note she had sent was scribbled on the back of the "lost" permission slip.

A few blocks away from our school, on our way to a pumpkin farm last Fall, one of my
 first graders was looking out the window of the bus, while she was excitedly
pointing and naming all the places she recognized; - "that's where my grandma works,"
pointing to a supermarket warehouse. "My mom works at the bank", and that her
auntie also worked somewhere.  All of the sudden she stops, turns, and says to me,
"How about you Mrs. Alvarez? Where do you work?"  I thought that was a classic.

While discussing the vocabulary for our new story last week, I asked the class what they knew about a harbor. One child responded, "It's like a boat parking lot with a dock."

We were doing a science lesson on how plants grow. The children all got a chance to
plant their own seeds. As the teacher I planted a few extra seeds for the children
whose plants do not sprout. After a few weeks of watching them I secretly exchanged
a few.  The next day one of my students said "Look teacher, it's a miracle, my plant
is growing".  I said "Yes, seeds sprouting is very exciting".  He said," No teacher,
that's not the miracle, I ATE the SEED and it is growing anyway!"

Little Johnny walked into his kindergarten room one morning wearing shoes that were at least 6 sizes too big. The teacher looked at him and asked "Johnny, who's shoes are you wearing?". Johnny smiled back and said proudly "my big brother's". The teacher, still puzzled asked, "Does your mother know you have your brother's shoes on?" Johnny replied " YES she does, she's the one who said I could wear them". The teacher is now really confused so she has to ask "Why did your mother
tell you to wear your brother's shoes?" Johnny said with a grin, "because he buried MINE in the back yard!!"

Several years ago, a primary student in my school was sent to see the principal for misbehaving in the classroom. The principal was very upset to see this
same young man in his office again (because he seemed to be there quite often). After talking sternly to the boy for a few minutes and reprimanding him,
the principal gave the boy this warning, "The next time you come to my office... I guess I'm going to have to get out my paddle!"
Without blinking an eye, the confused boy replied, "You have a boat?"

In our church, we have missionaries that travel around from place to place spreading the gospel. One day while driving to a doctor's appointment, I saw two of our local missionaries walking down the street. At that same instant my little sister exclaimed " Look! It's the dictionaries!"

We were at my in-laws one weekend and our 4 yr old who is now eight was in their bathroom looking at herself in the mirror, one of her favorite things to do. My father in law went in the bathroom and asked her what she was doing, she replied just looking. She then said " Papa can I ask you a question?" "yes" he said she says " did God make you and me both?" "Yes God made both of us" he replied. She then looked in the mirror and then back at her papa and in the mirror again, she did this a couple of times before finally saying "Boy he sure is doing a better job now." We all laughed for several minutes at the expense of my father in-law. We occasionally bring it up at family functions too.

One afternoon I was playing with my three year old daughter and two year old son. I would pretend to be asleep and then "wake up" when they poked me. At one point they poked me but I stayed "asleep". My son turned to my daughter and said, "Ah Oh, I think we need to change Mommy's batteries."

My aunt is a first grade teacher in Northern New York. One day she was explaining the different seasons to her class. Summer, Spring, Winter and Fall. My aunt opened the window to show her class the leaves that had fallen on the ground then asked if one of her students could tell her what season it was now. A little boy outfitted with camouflage raised his hand, she called on him. "What season is it?", she asked. Without missing a beat, "It's hunting season". He was right!

Last year, I was team teaching Pre-K. One of our little boys opens the door of the bathroom during circle time and started yelling, "Teacher, teacher! There's pee in the garbage, there's pee in the garbage!" Trying to keep my momentum of circle time going, I proceeded to ignore him as did the other adult in the room. He would not accept being ignored so he continued yelling that there was pee in the garbage. I told him it was okay, just don't touch it, we would take care of it later. He insisted that we see it. Without any warning, he brought the garbage bucket out of the bathroom and reached into and said "Teacher no really, there's pee in the garbage!" He pulled out the alphabet letter “P” that fell into the bucket as I proceeded to fall off my chair laughing. Circle time was then over..."

My first grade class and I were on a field trip.  We were walking along a board walk
that stretched over a wetlands area.  Along the board walk were little plaques with
donors names engraved on them.  I heard one boy ask another, "What do you think all
these names mean?".  The other boy responded,"They must be the names of people who
fell off and died!".

The Bridge

2009-04-04T17:10:00.004+13:00

This is it normally. Rather boring in all honesty. Takes about 15 minutes to walk across... but that's an estimation, I didn't have the time on me!

Now that you've seen that picture, check out these ones.

I leave the pictures to speak for themselves.

I Hope This Works!

2009-04-02T22:02:00.001+13:00

Thanks to Isaac for showing me this! I thought it rather funny!

Something Boring....

2009-03-25T21:10:00.006+13:00

...just for the sake of posting.

Different coloured photos.

Normal.

Black and White.

Blue.

Sepia.

Red.

Green.

Negative.

That's it. I'm to tired at the moment to write something worthwhile... so yeah.

I Stand In Awe

2009-03-21T07:52:00.002+13:00

Sometimes, I believe, we get so caught up with life and with the things that we should do and the things that we, as christians, believe we shouldn't do.

We say don't do this, don't do that.
(please forgive me, I am generalising)

How often do we say 'I will do this!' or 'For God's glory I will try that'?

Then look at your life and see how often you have just sat down competely overwealmed at God's goodness and provision and power.
How long has it been since you have stood in awe?

2009-03-12T18:50:00.003+13:00

Awwwwwww I think Jojo is soooooo gorgeous!

Awwwwwwwww Jojo hermanas!!!!!

Jojo es boja y bonita!

now. what do you see in this?

don't you love abstracts?

Adios Amigos!

Jojo

2009-03-06T17:16:00.002+13:00

After a week of running around calling her kitty, it was rather hard to get used to.
But we did it...

Btw, if no one realised this, Jojo is the name of the kitten.
Who is in the picture.

Whoops... just realised that I've use the same photo! O well, I'm not changing it now!

Ta DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-04T20:58:00.002+13:00

To make it simpler for everyone out there, Bella and I, (Me being Ellie) we have decided to have to have different names on here.

Hope it works....

Ellie

Sunset

2009-03-03T18:47:00.000+13:00

At the beach, whilst walking dogs...

?

2009-03-03T18:39:00.003+13:00

My brother's new, still to be named, kitten!!!
Everyone's waiting for her to be named... it's almost been a week since he got her!

In case you're wondering, the ? mark is there as she doesn't have a name.
As I think we have established.

Glow Sticks and Whatnot

2009-02-10T16:27:00.007+13:00

Outside, waving them about....

You can see someone's ghostly looking face here...
Couldn't hold the thing straight.
Waving it in a circle
Flag!

Glow straw, awesome, to say the least...
Flying glow ball
Someone's bracelet.
Spinning 'round.

Sadly, one of the sticks was broken, but in most of the photos it goes unnoticed!

They were so much fun... and lasted for absolute ages too!

Heck!

2009-01-24T21:35:00.000+13:00

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men

You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

What???

2009-01-09T20:34:00.002+13:00

Ummmm six to ten things.....Is that what you said Isabella?

1: I wake up and do a bible reading
2: EAt Yummy BREKY!
3: EAT fruit
4: check emails
5: pysical activity of some sort (eg. dance, walk, jump on trampoline, play tag with my lil bro)
6: tell someone to smile
7: text, phone or chat online to a friend

lol. Isabella, seeing as we are co-owners I'll let the list stand as it is but change Browns to Whitewishes.

and now I ccomment right?
I'm so confused!!!!!

I got TAGGED!!!

2008-12-28T11:31:00.002+13:00

From the Editrix.

Daily Routine...

~ THE RULES ~

1 - Post the six to ten things that you do on a daily basis
2 - Link to the person who tagged you.
3 - Tag five other people
4 - Leave a comment on the blog of the person that tagged you letting them know that have posted this to your blog.
5 - You must tag at least one person whose blog you have either just found within the last week or some one whose blog you don’t know very well!

1.I read.
2. Check my emails
3. School/work happens most days of the year...
4. Play music.
5. Listen to music.
6. Talk to a friend.
7. Walk my dog
8. Look at everyones blogs
9. Eat and Drink

Right I managed to get nine!

I tag...

Lydie
Jono
Andy
Sarai
The Browns

Gabby - As a person I don't know.

Christmas meme!

2008-12-11T12:27:00.003+13:00

Well here goes!

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your family and friends.

Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!!

Change all the answers so that they apply to you.

Then tag a whole bunch of people you know. Tis the Season to be NICE!

Yes I copied and pasted that from the Editrix blog and now I CAN'T get the font back to normal, so just put up with it.

Wraping paper or gift bags? Both! Wrap them and then shove them in a bag!!!

Real or fake trees? Real.

When do you put up your tree? As soon as dad has found the time to get one!

Do you like eggnog? Never tried it, not so keen on doing that either!

Favourite gift recieved as a child? hmmm... My uhhh... this is really hard!

Hardest person to by for? Mostly everyone!

Easiest person to by for? My sister, she tells me what she wants!

Do you have a nativity sence? No.

Mail or Email Christmas cards? Both!

Worst Christmas gift you have recieved? An Awful famous person autograph book complete with fluffy blue felt tip pen!

Favourite Christmas movie? None that I can think of, unless Narnia counts!

When do you start Christmas shopping? Well early this year but I generally leave it till the last minute!

Have you ever recycled a present? No!

Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? Pavlova!

Lights on tree? Yes! They should be everywhere!

Favourite Chrismas song? Come and Worship!

Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.

Can you name all of santa's reindeer? No way!Star!

Angel or star on top of the tree? With little angels flying around the tree!

Open presents Chirstmas Eve or Christmas morning? Christmas morning!

Most annoying thing about this time of year? Having to workon Christmas Eve!

Favourite ornament or theme colour? Red and Gold!

Favourite decorations? Anything that looks nice!

What do you want for Christmas this year? Books!!!!

I'm going to tag
The Browns,
Andy,
Isabella.
Livi,
Ashley,
Nathan,
Lydz,
Jono,
Theresa,

Mine!

2008-12-09T20:59:00.005+13:00

The pictures are in no order what so ever.

This is probably my favourite, the yellow and green are really nice together.

As usual, I got something wrong. They curve slightly.

Pinkness!

A lot of these flowers have been coming through N.W. Everyone I have talked to about them really likes the orange and pink together!

Wow! The yellow looks really bright in this photo!

Nosey. Really nosey.

Well at least she was keeping me company.

Sniff.

Yellow!

They are still in their punet here, you should have seen me and then mum, trying to get them out!

Celosias

2008-12-05T18:19:00.004+13:00

Pretty, are they not?

From what I can tell these things are easy to grow. Apparently.
Lots of sun. Make sure they have plenty of water.

Hmmm...

This is the West Coast, lets hope they last until after Christmas...
They are perenial, so maybe they will last two years.
Although, I rather doubt their chance at living that long on the Coast.

The pictures are not mine, because at the moment I have no way of uploading them...
They will be on at a later date...

Signage

2008-12-02T18:48:00.006+13:00

Seriously, it is coming...
Well no wonder its free, no one can use it!

Basically, ignore the sign.

This is just funny! Imagine doing that!

Ummm... Mummy do we have to go this way?

Stuck. Drat.

Who put THAT there then?

Really, I wonder why?

Shocking.
Sorry, fire stops for no one.

This is a good sign.

You can do that?

Read the small print, if you can.

How? Do they pay people to watch me looking at signs?

I found these on the internet the other day and thought they were rather neat!
I hope everyone who looks at this does to!

Book Meme

2008-11-30T08:20:00.003+13:00

Well, as I have now been tagged by Isabella, I, Isabella had better do this. I have been reading the Rangers Apprentice Series so here goes:

page 123, sentence 5 of 'The Socerer in the North (book five):

Although, sometimes, at moments like this, it was difficult to remember.

and the next three sentences:

He did another four songs for them. Harvest Sunday, Jessie on the Mountain, Remember the Time, and The Runaway Mare, a hard-driving song with a galloping rhythm that had fists pounding and feet tapping throughout the room. As he finished the last, he glanced down at the dog, lying with her eyes glued to him, and mouthed the word 'Dragons' at her.

So I, Bella/Belle (I haven't decided on a middle name or nickname to tell the Isabellas apart yet)
have conquered the Book Meme tagging. Oh no, I am now listed on Olivias list too!

(help?)

P.S thanks I.E.Clinton for the book pic!

Book meme!

2008-11-19T21:19:00.006+13:00

The Editirx has passed on this to me, so I am of to go get a book, as all the ones near me are rugby books. Urrgh.

Back. With Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott.
Fliping to page 125, whoops! To far, flip back.
Go to her blog, to double check. (bye her blog, I do NOT mean Louisa May Alcotts)
Fifth sentence, post next three, sound easy enough...

Right the fifth sentence is...

...wait for it...

Get some nice book and read quietly.

Huh, I really like that sentence.

Right the next three are.

Cheer him up about school, and offer to help him study by and by. You can do that better than I, because I'm only a girl, and don't learn Greek and Latin and all sorts of head achy stuff." "Yes, but you can do heaps of things better than we can- you've proved that," said Archie, with an approving look that delighted Rose, though she could not resist giving Charlie one more rebuke, by saying, with a little bridling up of the head and a curl of the lip that wanted a smile instead, " I'm glad you think so, though I am a 'queer chicken.'"

Owww... I now have a sore hand from typing with it! (The other was holding the book)
Anyway it was great fun and now I have to choose nominees!

Right...

...ummm...

...this is hard...

...well...

...I'll just put some people and pray they don't get mad!

Lydie from Most Tranquil
Livi from Sew on and Sew Forth
Jono from Hypothetically Speaking
Isabella from watajoke (I mean the other one)

But it was fun...

Magical Elves

2008-11-15T22:24:00.002+13:00

They are awesome! If you haven't had one, you've got to try one!
They are chocolate with little candy pieces inside.
I'm not going to tell you what they are like, cause that would spoil the surprise.
Anyway, you have to have one if you haven't already!

Btw, the picture is just the closest I could find, they actually look a little different!

Wow!!!!

2008-10-15T15:17:00.002+13:00

This is the Biggest strawberry I have EVER seen!

I opened the punnet and there it was.
In case you need an idea of how big it is, it was as big as the palm of my hand.
It was huge!
And delicious!

Watoto 2009

2008-10-13T18:11:00.005+13:00

Yes! I get to go! I'm so excited! Still can't believe that dad said yes! (Well I'm beginning to!)
Next year, I get to go to Africa, Uganda, with Livi. If she wasn't going I might be a bit hesitant...
Well anyway, we are going to build houses and schools and maybe other things, (I'm a bit vague on that!) for the children who don't have any. It works like this, each house has a "mother" who looks after 8 children. She looks after them and makes sure they get the attention they need.

To help you can donate money to cover the building costs. We are asking people to donate money by buying "Bricks of Hope" at $10 a brick. If you would like to contribute, then you can make out a cheque to "Greymouth Anglican Parish Watoto" and send it to, Greymouth Watoto 2009, c/- P O Box 27, Greymouth.

If you want to pay direct credit, please go Here.

Don't worry, the money you donate goes to the building materials.

Oh, and if you want more info go to www.watoto.com

Coming Soon...

2008-10-13T13:35:00.002+13:00

Is a post about watoto!
I just have to write it first!
But if you want to read about it now, you can go to here
Or you can wait...

Pretty Pretty

2008-10-12T20:34:00.004+13:00

Apple blossoms.

The pretty apple blossoms are in our back yard at the moment!
Which is really awesome, I think anyway.

Found this on the internet one day.

2008-10-10T11:09:00.003+13:00

Are we really that stupid?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(But if you were sleeping, how would you know?)

On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(OK, I'll just open them...)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(How else do you use soap?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.r
(And nobody new that, right)

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisuan> dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
(To late!)

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(I sure hope so)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Someone has actually done this???)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(It's illegal for children to drive, isn't it?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(If it doesn't I'm getting my money back)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(Were else would I put them? In the pool??)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(The other use is?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(Well that is good)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Simply Stating what everyone should already know)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh, and people thought it did)

On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Someone has tried that! Owch!)

On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
(That is what they are disinged to do)

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
(why else did I buy them)

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
(Who thought no-one new that?)

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
(Nice piece of information, that one)

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
(Well what else would you be doing? sitting down?)

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
(I sure hope not)

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
(Ummm... this has put me of flying)

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.
(Does anyone read the bottom of the bottle?)

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
(Boo Hoo!)

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
(You would have it if you were)

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine
(Well isn't that what washes the clothes?)

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
(How big was this muffin?)

In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.
(Really, I thought it was the other way round)

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
(No, I use it as glue...)

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.
(Good idea)

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.
(Where else do I get in then!)

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.
(Quick a person, RUN!)

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
(If I'm dead I don't really care)

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.
(Oh dear! It's to sticky!)

On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.
(But they don't give you there phone number???)

On a bottle of baby lotion:r
Keep away from children.
(Well this is useless)

On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.
(Great I dry clean my socks anyway)

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
(Since when has no one known that?)

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
(That is why I brought the stuff!)

On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.
(Since when?)

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.
(Gee, that is helpful)

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
(Hopefully it contains nuts as well)

Directions for mosquito repellent:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.
(Yay! I never would have guessed!)

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
(Well that card will sell really fast)

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
(Why else would we turn it on?)

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.
(Like, what?)

On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
(EWE!)

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
(Well if you didn't no that, you know it now)

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
(What do people put in dishwashers?)

On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
(No, not a good idea)

On a washing machine inn a launderette:
No small children.
(Someone did this to their children???)

On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
(Speachless, someone thought it would taste good???)

On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
(Lol, some one tried that???)

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
(Hmmm, they do look tasty, don't they)

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
(Does nobody know the meaning of wrist anymore?)

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
(Children can fit in dishwashers really well, can't they)

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
(Bread gets soggy when wet, everyone knows that)

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.
(Yum! A huge Marshmellow!)

The Spell checker is not working and has mucked this up...
So any mistakes are not my fault

Meeting of the Board

2008-10-10T10:59:00.001+13:00

There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor.

After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the auditorium for the announced meeting.
But there was a stranger in their midst -- a visitor who had never attended their church before.

"My friend," said the pastor, "Didn't you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?"

"Yes," said the visitor, "and after today's sermon, I suppose I'm just about as bored as anyone else who
came to this meeting."

Picture Time!!!!!

2008-09-18T20:24:00.003+12:00

I thought I'd go with this picture instead of another story.

And this one is one of the funniest.

The Army of the Lord

2008-09-16T20:57:00.000+12:00

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door
as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't "see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Acting Up In Church

2008-09-14T16:56:00.001+12:00

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

One fer U

2008-09-13T21:47:00.002+12:00

more animals

Boooooooo!

2008-09-08T05:42:00.003+12:00

Ha Ha Got ya!
Caught you when you weren't expecting it.
Caught by surprise.
Made you gasp and laugh out loud!
What a sad demise!

moi

Huh?

2008-09-06T18:13:00.002+12:00

You know something isn't right when everything you type on this turns into a link.
Then once you've managed to fix that everything is bold. (groan)
After that it turns into italic.
By this time you are a genius at fixing these problems.
Well, almost...

Sinks?

2008-09-06T16:45:00.009+12:00

This is really bizarre, I know.
But at the same time I found it rather fascinating...

This one is probably the most boring, all though the back round is the nicest.

This one looks awesome.
And this one has to have the most useful feature of all, it glows in the dark!
Copper... not sure whether I like it or not, the patterns are cool though.
2nd favourite, it is absolutely fabulous and has exquisite carvings
I'm not sure how this one works but it does work! (I think)
These are my favourites! they are absolutely fabulous, wonderful, superb, ect, ect.

The funny thing was that while I was finding all these I couldn't find a normal looking sink!
I did find lots of other cool ones as well.

Funny Stories from Insurance Companies

2008-08-20T19:07:00.003+12:00

The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

I found this one after I had posted the other, it comes from the same site.

Dumb Questions From Lawyers

2008-08-20T18:02:00.003+12:00

The following questions by lawyers were taken from actual court documents in America:

"Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"

"Now doctor, is it not true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?"

Q: "What happened then?"
A: "He told me, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Q: "And did he kill you?"

"Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

"The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"

"Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

Q: "I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?"
A: "That’s me."
Q: "Were you present when he picture was taken?"

"Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

Q: "Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated ?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Q: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
A: "I’ll be three months on November 8th."
Q: "Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: "Yes."
Q: "What were you doing at that time?

"So you were gone until you returned?"

Q: "She had three children right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

"Mrs. Jones, how many times have you committed suicide?"

"You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Q: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?"
A: "The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Edington was dead at that time?"

You can find more funny jokes and stories here

The Internet

2008-08-01T16:06:00.000+12:00

Today I tried to find myself on the Internet.
It is NOT easy.
I typed Isabella Clinton in on Google search, then hit enter.
First I searched the web and got one result for me, a comment I'd posted on Jono's blog.
Then I search pages from NZ only and got mentioned 33 times for commenting on Andy's.
I honestly did not think it would be so hard! I mean I'm on facebook, myspace and have more blogs than this one.

However I did find out some stuff about other Isabella Clintons. They own restaurants, hotels, are real estate agents and a whole ton more.

You Eated my Cookie?

2008-07-29T13:56:00.001+12:00

This has to be one of the cutest picture of a kitten, ever!

Angora Rabbits

2008-07-29T12:27:00.004+12:00

This one I actually know the real name. It is an English Angora. This one is my favourite! It's so cute!!

I think that you could possible use this one as a pillow! Maybe....

And this one honestly could be taken for a soft toy.

Aren't they funny! I laughed my head of (almost!) when I first saw them.

They're so cute, fluffy, hilariously funny and well rather ridiculous!

My Regency Dress

2008-07-28T16:28:00.004+12:00

These are some photos of my regency era dress.

I made the dress and Livi made the over coat.

The dress was taking from Caroline Bingleys (2005)

She wears it when Jane and Elizabeth are leaving Netherfield Hall after their stay. the link below is to Livi's blog so you can see all her awesome dresses!

http://livi-sewforth.blogspot.com/

In case you are wondering what the small print is at the top of the pictures, I'll tell you.
Top picture: This is the front of my regency dress.
The other one says: This is the back of my regency dress.
That's all they say. I know it's rather boring, but O well it is better than not knowing at all.

The World of Kittens

2008-07-27T19:53:00.007+12:00

Have you ever looked at picture like this and felt Jealous?
I know I have!
Until recently, that is.
I looked at the picture, felt my normal twang of self pity.
Then I did something that would sound strange after reading this....
I laughed!
For this thought had just come into my mind,
'They must get sooooooo bored!'

Unless they are this pore kitty.

In which case your life would be anything but peaceful!

For everyone's sake I hope everyone's life is a bit more

Balanced.

Describing me,Through photography

2008-07-23T16:20:00.008+12:00

These Pictures, taken on two different cameras, I feel portray a part of me.

The top one has been stretched...a lot. If it looks horrid, just to let you know the sky was pretty when I took it.

This one of light...touches me. It's like God was watching me..keeping an eye..showing that a rainy day can have an effect and can help make things beautiful.

My faith means so much more to me than words can describe. I want it to show and be shown.

But sometimes words can fall so short.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
What are mine saying?

How do I do things?

2008-07-18T19:58:00.000+12:00

Wow, I am so not clued in!!!
I don't know how to do stuff!!!
Help!
The story of my life!!!
Keep smiling,
(and enjoy the blog 'Sense')
Moi

Sense

2008-07-04T21:10:00.000+12:00

My little brother found this picture on a website.

I think it is quite funny.

Although I don't think I can beat your post Anna-Ruth!

I AM ??? No, We are.

2008-06-29T18:13:00.001+12:00

My dearest friend,

I find myself writing on your blog, to you!
How odd we should be one.
(let us stay individuals in every other way)

I also tried to put the 'Which Austen Are You?' link on...and...failed.

But I tried. :)

I do hope you read this before I see you next, cause girly...I'm gonna ask.

Keep warm! God Bless you!
Your friend,
Anna-Ruth Xx